Public Sodomy: Vance Crushed Team Harris-Walz

When Walz wasn’t busy glossing over his hot mess of a governorship, he had the unenviable task of doing two things. First, he had to somehow trash-talk one of the most successful presidencies in American history. And second, his ammo for that? The smoldering wreckage of what’s easily the worst presidency in American history—his own boss’s. It was like trying to defend the Titanic while still sinking in it.

Everyone who’d been paying attention already knew JD Vance was going to wipe the floor with Walz’s Midwestern behind. And that beating started from the word “go.” As I reflect on the debate, the term “public sodomy” comes to mind.

Walz looked like he was one bad question away from asking for a smoke break, which only confirmed the rumors that the guy was sweating bullets before the debate even started. He rambled through his two-minute response, attempting to answer a question I’m not sure he even understood, but he did show us one thing: he’s got the preparation skills of a last-minute book report writer. And then it was Vance’s turn.

JD Vance kicked things off with, “I was born to a middle-class mother.”

Mystified, I swear for a second I thought he was about to parody one of Kamala Harris’s cringe-inducing stump speeches. But nope. Vance was all business. He explained that his mom had struggled with drugs, that he joined the Marines, and used the GI Bill to go to Yale. Meanwhile, Walz just stood there watching as his “Midwestern mystique” got yanked away from him in one well-crafted two-minute drill.

And Vance? Smooth as butter. He wasn’t nervous. Not once. Every question Walz fumbled through, Vance calmly took notes (in his head!) like a kid studying for finals. And the moment Walz’ lying lips stopped moving, Vance took a sledge hammer to Walz’ nogging. Even more ironic is Vance crushed Walz with (1) Walz’s own words, and (2) actual facts. A masterclass in debate.

From Iran to immigration, guns to abortion, Vance didn’t just beat Walz—he dissected him. It was like watching Sugar Ray Leonard toy with an opponent at the Olympics. Just one jab after another, until Walz was politically unrecognizable.

But the real magic happened when Vance didn’t even need to fight. Case in point: the moderators brought up Walz’s big fat lie about being at Tiananmen Square during the Chinese Revolution.

But let’s not kid ourselves—the American people knew what that was. Walz lied. And instead of owning up to it, he put on a tap dance routine so bad it made Riverdance look like a Viennese Waltz. That’s the Harris-Walz campaign in a nutshell: a never-ending cycle of lies, piled on with extra lies for good measure.

And Vance’s response to Walz’s two-minute confession? Not a peep. Just a slight smirk, because Walz was digging his own political grave and Vance didn’t need to add a shovel.

At this point, I had to run to Verizon because my phone was busted (don’t ask, my fault).

By the time I got back, CBS was wrapping up their debate coverage, and you know things went south when not one of the “journalists” had a single positive thing to say about Walz. It was all gloom, doom, and misery for the Harris-Walz campaign.

When you consider how much of a dumpster fire their campaign has been so far, this debate was just another log on the bonfire. If Walz thought his week couldn’t get worse, well, too bad Iran didn’t wait a few more hours to launch those rockets at Israel. Maybe that could’ve distracted the country from the absolute annihilation he just suffered. Too late now.