Congress’s 1,547-Page Holiday Heist – Ep 24-495

[SEGMENT 1-1] 1500 Page CR 1   So much to discuss today. I would have discussed this yesterday, but I scheduled one of my sponsors for the show, and I’m glad I did. I hope you get you some Magnesium bioptimizers.com/kjradio Promo code: KJRADIO  Monologue: The 1547-Page CRIME Bill Ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round because it’s storytime with Uncle KJ. Today’s tale is a modern tragedy, a comedy of errors, and a crime novel all rolled into one—our illustrious Congress and their latest 1,547-page Continuing Resolution. Or, as I like to call it, the CRIME BILL. You see, Congressman Thomas Massie warned us about this stunt months ago. He said, “Watch out—they’re going to pull the old ‘stay over Christmas’ trick.” And what did Speaker Mike Johnson promise? “Not on my watch!” Well, guess what, folks? Mike Johnson’s watch must be from the Dollar Store, because here we are. Congress stuck it to us again, keeping everyone tied up during the holidays while they passed a monstrosity of a bill faster than a Kardashian’s marriage. Now, the big question: Who even wrote this thing? Because the “woke” language in this bill sounds like it came straight out of a Berkeley gender studies seminar, not a legislative office. It’s got more pronouns than policies, and if you still believed Republicans had a backbone, this bill will cure you of that delusion. These eunuchs couldn’t even protect us from being railroaded into $100 billion of insanity.

[SEGMENT 1-2] 1500-page CR 2   What They Get vs. What We Get Let’s break it down. Here’s what the Left gets:

• $60 billion to Ukraine—because apparently, Zelensky has a Black Friday wishlist.
• Unconstitutional powers for the courts to protect Congress—because Congress is so fragile, they need a legal security blanket.
• Blanket immunity for the Deep State—past crimes, future crimes, no problem!
• Emergency powers for unconstitutional mandates—because if there’s one thing Americans miss, it’s being forced into masks and vaccines.
• Funding for gain-of-function research—because the first round of playing God with viruses worked out so well.
• Vaccine passports—because, hey, who doesn’t want to be tracked like an Amazon package?
• Twelve new biolabs—I’m sure nothing bad could come from that, right?

[SEGMENT 1-3] 1500-page CR 3 Now, what do we get? Hurricane aid. That’s it. A pat on the back and a whispered, “Good luck out there!” Biden’s Health: The Left’s Flip-Flop But wait, before we dive deeper into this legislative crime scene, let’s talk about Joe Biden. Remember when the Left insisted those videos of Biden falling asleep mid-sentence and talking like he just woke up from dental surgery were deepfakes? Fast forward to today, and Politico Playbook is singing a new tune: “How could anyone imagine Joe Biden could serve another four years?” Oh, I don’t know—maybe because you told us he could four months ago! Now they’re admitting, “Time is catching up with Mr. Biden. He looks a little older and slower with each passing day.” Slower? Folks, the man’s aging like unrefrigerated milk. By the time 2028 rolls around, they’ll be wheeling him into the Oval Office like Hannibal Lecter. Liz Cheney’s Drama Class And then there’s Liz Cheney. Oh, Liz. Her text messages with Cassidy Hutchinson reveal she was coaching witnesses to change their testimony. That’s not a misstep—that’s a felony. But does Liz own up to it? Nope. She hops on BlueSky to attack Trump instead, like a cat scratching a brick wall. The Crime of the Century Back to the CRIME BILL. You might be saying, “KJ, there’s no crime bill in Congress!” Au contraire, my friends—this Continuing Resolution is a crime against the American people. And let’s not forget the sneaky little clause they tried to bury: preventing Americans from accessing their emails. Yes, folks, while they’re raiding Trump’s home and reading his emails, they’re crafting laws to keep their own inboxes safe from scrutiny. Why? Because they know their email chains would make the Biden family’s shell companies look like lemonade stands.

[SEGMENT 1-4] 1500-page CR 4   The AI Revolution The good news? AI is here to help us dig through this garbage. While Congress hopes we’re too distracted with holiday shopping, AI has already gone through the bill and exposed the rot. And guess who’s leading the charge against it? Elon Musk. He’s tearing into this thing like a constipated honey badger, leaving no clause unscathed. And DOGE—President-elect Trump’s new watchdog—is barking loudly. A Call for Accountability Here’s an idea: make Congress put their names on the nonsense they recommend for these bills. Want $60 billion to Ukraine? Fine—stamp your name on it so we know who to thank when we’re eating ramen because inflation is through the roof. And while we’re at it, can we please retire the DEI nonsense and LGBTQ+ pork projects that have no business in a spending bill? Congress spent more time debating gender-neutral bathrooms than they did on hurricane aid. Priorities, people! Closing Thoughts So here we are, folks: a 1,547-page reminder that our government is broken, but our will isn’t. Trump’s coming back, and you’d better believe he’s bringing a bulldozer to clear out this swamp once and for all. Until then, keep your AI tuned, your honey badger ferocity on standby, and your sense of humor intact. Because if we don’t laugh, we’ll cry—and we’ve cried enough. Stay strong, America. Trump 2024 is around the corner. Let’s clean house.
[X] SB – CNN goes after Dick Durbin on the congressional pay raise. [X] SB – Man speaks on Elon staying involved in politics and killing the CR [X] SB – Thomas Massie on spending cuts [X] SB – Speaker Johnson on CR   Now, that continuing resolution now in Congress, it is a total, unmitigated disaster. It’s hard to fathom after this election that these elected officials, they think that the government, as usual – the swamp as usual – is going to continue. It’s not. This would fund the government through March, but at what cost? Raise the debt ceiling. At what cost? Why should Donald Trump have to raise the debt ceiling when it’s Joe Biden’s problem?  Now, this bill is over 1,500 pages. It spends so lavishly on pet projects – let’s see, a new bridge in Baltimore along with an additional $100 billion for vague disaster relief programs and another 10 billion in farm subsidies. The resolution also expands the federal bureaucracy, funding a new Office of Telecommunications Spectrum Management and a new National Blockchain Deployment Advisory Committee.  The spending bill also gives the state of Maryland a group of National Guard fighter jets. It also transfers ownership of RFK Stadium from the federal government to Washington, D.C. Why are we giving them our stadium? In other words, you paid for it, a hugely valuable asset owned by the American taxpayers. What, given to far-left residents of the D.C. swamp?    Musk and DOGE likewise bought into and spread the false claim that the bill earmarked billions of taxpayer dollars to build a new NFL stadium in Washington, D.C., at the site of RFK Stadium.