The following article, Pelosi’s Prison Number, was first published on The Black Sphere.
Americans know the truth — Nancy Pelosi didn’t just “share a tip” with her husband. She handed him the DeLorean keys and told him to set the flux capacitor to rich as hell.
Because Paul Pelosi doesn’t trade stocks — he time travels. That’s the only explanation for beating the market every single year. Not most years. Every. Single. Year. In 2024, he didn’t just beat Wall Street; he mopped the floor with them. Every hedge fund, every algorithm, every “genius” with a Bloomberg terminal got smoked by a guy whose primary résumé bullet point is “married well.”
She says she’d vote for a stock trading ban if it came to the House floor. Oh, that’s rich. That’s like an arsonist saying he’d gladly support a fire ban — right after he finishes his victory lap through the ashes.
Pelosi’s 2024 returns were better than anything short of insider trading or divine prophecy. Beating the S&P 500? Sure. Beating every hedge fund in the country? That’s your grandma beating Bobby Fischer blindfolded, with oven mitts, while balancing a martini — and doing it in under 20 moves. And Paul didn’t spill a drop.
Trump called it exactly what it is:
“Crooked Nancy Pelosi, and her very ‘interesting’ husband, beat every Hedge Fund in 2024… It’s all INSIDE iNFORMATION! Is anybody looking into this???”
Exactly. Anyone else pulls this off and the SEC would have them in a windowless room, asking them which hand the bug is in. But when it’s the Pelosis, it’s “Oh, they’re just savvy investors.” Yeah — savvy like knowing the horse race results before you leave the house.
Nancy swears she doesn’t own stocks and isn’t involved.
Right. And O.J. is still looking for the “real killer.” We’re told Paul is just a master at picking winners — but funny how those winners often coincide with pending legislation or juicy government contracts. Must be magic. Must also be nice to have a crystal ball shaped like a congressional calendar.
The STOCK Act of 2012 was supposed to stop this kind of thing. It didn’t. All it did was make members of Congress disclose trades — after they happen — giving guys like Paul enough of a head start that retail investors built “Pelosi trackers” just to ride his coattails. And even following weeks later, they still beat the market. That’s how brazen this is.
It’s the same tired D.C. formula: pass a toothless law, brag about ethics reform, then cash in. And because the rules are designed by the same people gaming them, nothing changes. That’s why Paul can treat the stock market like a slot machine where the reels are pre-programmed to stop on three cherries every spin.
Eighty-plus percent of Americans want this stopped. Senator Josh Hawley even named the fix the PELOSI Act — which is about as subtle as spray-painting “CHEATER” on someone’s garage door. But Congress voting to end insider perks is like a fox voting to install security cameras in the henhouse. Don’t hold your breath.
And here’s the thing — this isn’t a partisan problem. Republicans have done it, too. Remember the 2020 COVID briefing scandal? Senators dumping millions in stocks right before the market tanked, then buying back in at bargain-basement prices? That wasn’t a bipartisan “oops.” That was proof the political class treats the rest of us like extras in their little production — the “Democracy” show, where they get rich on inside info and we get the bill.
But Paul Pelosi is the gold standard.
His trades aren’t just lucky guesses; they’re statistical miracles. If a blackjack player won this consistently in Vegas, the casino would have him beaten in the alley and banned for life. But in politics, the only thing banned is accountability.
The worst part isn’t even the cheating — it’s the performance. Nancy pretending to be shocked at the suggestion of wrongdoing, acting like she’s insulted anyone would dare question her ethics, when she’s been in politics longer than most Americans have been alive. If the Pelosis had a family crest, it would be a stock ticker and a giant middle finger aimed at the public.
And we, the taxpayers, are expected to swallow it. We’re told to “trust the process” by the same people who write the rules, run the game, and pick the winners. It’s like watching a magician saw a woman in half, then seeing her walk offstage with a sawdust trail — and still being told it’s an illusion.
Here’s the truth: Paul Pelosi’s portfolio doesn’t just defy the odds — it nukes them.
You could put a thousand analysts with supercomputers in a bunker for a decade and they wouldn’t replicate his track record without bending time or breaking the law. And the fact nobody’s investigating tells you everything you need to know about how D.C. protects its own.
An investigation isn’t just warranted — it’s overdue. Subpoenas, sworn testimony, forensic audits — the works. If the Pelosis are really this good, let them prove it in public, under oath, with every trade dissected. If not, let’s stop pretending and start prosecuting.
So yes — grandma could beat a blindfolded Bobby Fischer blindfolded in a million years. Once. Maybe. But if she does it year after year? You stop applauding and start to see if Fischer is in on it and placing bets against himself. The Pelosis have been pulling this trick for too long, and if we don’t rip the curtain down now, they’ll be cashing jackpot chips while the rest of us are still waiting for the slot machine to light up.
Because this isn’t just about stocks. It’s about trust. And when the people writing the rules keep walking away with the jackpot, the rest of us aren’t just broke — we’re the punchline.
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