The following article, Democrats’ 2028 President List: The Inevitability of Failure, was first published on The Black Sphere.
Let’s play a game. It’s called “Who would you rather have perform your root canal?”
Your choices are a dentist with a 30% approval rating, a passionate dental hygienist who has never held a drill, and someone who fell asleep during dental school but has a really nice smile. Congratulations, you have just simulated the process of ranking the Democratic Party’s top contenders for the 2028 presidential election. It’s less a vetting process and more a public autopsy on a party that seems determined to prove that losing can be taught.
The recent rankings from establishment outlets like The Hill aren’t just a list; they’re a cry for help, a political suicide note drafted in the font of Comic Sans. To examine this roster is to witness a spectacular parade of ambition completely untethered from achievement, a case study in how a major political party can look at a burning building and decide the best course of action is to send in a committee to discuss the aesthetic qualities of the flames.
The Players
Newsom
At the top of this totem pole of terror sits Gavin Newsom, the governor who has turned the state of California into a breathtakingly beautiful paradox. It’s a place where you can simultaneously hike through pristine redwood forests and step over a human fecal landmine on a San Francisco sidewalk. To call Newsom the “frontrunner” is like calling the guy who brought a bottle of lighter fluid to the barbecue the “grill master.” He’s not leading; he’s just the one most prepared to accelerate the combustion.
Newsom’s political arc is a masterclass in failing upward. As mayor of San Francisco, he pioneered “harm reduction” strategies that, in many cases, devolved into an outright surrender to public drug use and property crime, creating a humanitarian crisis on the city’s streets that persists today. As governor, he has presided over a state with the highest poverty rate in the nation when accounting for cost of living, a homelessness crisis of epic proportions, and a regulatory environment so hostile to business that companies are conducting a modern-day gold rush in reverse, fleeing for states that don’t treat them as ATMs for progressive pet projects.
His greatest talent isn’t governance; it’s performance. He is a master of the empty gesture, like signing a bill to create a council to study reparations—a politically safe, financially meaningless act that generates headlines but does precisely nothing to address the very real, very immediate problems crippling his state. He is the human embodiment of a polished TED Talk: slick, confident, and utterly devoid of a practical solution. The idea that the party sees this record of managed decline and thinks, “Yes, more of that, but for the whole country!” is a level of self-sabotage so profound it borders on performance art.
And just when you think the comedy has peaked, the show must go on. Enter the number two slot: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Now, to be clear, AOC is a political superstar. She has a massive platform, a fiercely loyal base, and a talent for driving conservative media into apoplectic fits that is, frankly, admirable. But viability for a national presidential election is a different ballgame. It requires building a coalition, not just a brand.
2. AOC
The Democratic establishment’s flirtation with AOC as a top-tier contender is the ultimate act of hypocrisy. This is the same party apparatus that spent decades preaching moderation and electability, that warned against the dangers of the “far-left.” Now, they quietly elevate a figure whose policy platform, including the Green New Deal and “Medicare for All,” was considered radical fringe talk just a few election cycles ago. It’s not that her ideas have suddenly become more practical; it’s that the party has run out of popular, compelling figures who haven’t been tainted by the stench of failure. It’s a move born not of conviction, but of desperation. Elevating her to runner-up status isn’t a promotion; it’s setting her up as the designated blame-taker for when the moderate, anointed candidate inevitably stumbles.
Ah, but the stumble is already here. Holding down the fort at number three is the living, breathing testament to the power of being in the right place at the right time with the right connections: Vice President Kamala Harris. If Newsom is a paradox and AOC is a phenomenon, Harris is a paradox wrapped in a phenomenon wrapped in a word salad so impenetrable it could qualify for federal infrastructure funding.
3. Kamala Harris
To understand the sheer, unadulterated folly of her position, one must truly marinate in the historical context. Kamala Harris, the Vice President of the United States, the second-in-line to the presidency, is considered less viable than a governor with a catastrophic home-state record and a congresswoman with a fraction of her national experience. Let that sink in. The person a heartbeat away from the Oval Office is ranked below them. It’s an institutional vote of no confidence so loud it’s a wonder the windows in the West Wing haven’t shattered.
Her political career is a graveyard of abandoned positions and calculated reinventions. She was a “top cop” prosecutor whose record is now a millstone around her neck in a party that has moved sharply toward criminal justice reform. Her failed 2020 presidential campaign was a masterclass in mismanagement, infamous for its toxic internal culture and lack of a coherent message beyond… well, being Kamala Harris. Her public appearances are often exercises in circumlocution, famously answering a question about her stance on marijuana legalization by saying, “Half my family’s from Jamaica. Are you kidding me?” A hilarious line, to be sure, but not exactly the stuff of geopolitical statecraft.
Her book sales and fundraising numbers tell the story the party doesn’t want to hear: the well is dry. The donor class is bored. The base is whelmed, at best. She is the political equivalent of a beige wallpaper—inoffensive, but nobody points her out as their favorite part of the room.
4. Wes Moore
But wait, there’s more! The list plunges further into the obscure. In fourth place, we have Maryland Governor Wes Moore, a man whose greatest qualification appears to be that he is not any of the three people listed above. He’s a political newcomer who rode a compelling personal story to the governor’s mansion. The national party’s immediate urge to catapult him onto the presidential stage is a perfect example of its addiction to narrative over substance. It’s not “what have you done?” but “what’s your story?” They see a shiny new object and, like a magpie, immediately forget about the problems with the old, tarnished ones littering the nest.
5. J. B. Pritzker
And rounding out this fantasy football league of failure is Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker. His claim to fame? He’s a billionaire who has spent a significant portion of his fortune… getting elected and governing a state that is itself a smaller, flatter, more corrupt version of California’s fiscal nightmares. He is proof that when you have enough money, you can buy a political platform, even if that platform is standing on the deck of the Titanic and arguing you’re best positioned to steer it because you own the most deck chairs.
It only gets worse after Pritzker
So, what does this list tell us? It screams that the Democratic Party is trapped in a feedback loop of its own creation. It is a party that has become so focused on cultivating a specific brand of coastal, elite liberalism that it has lost the plot entirely. It mistakes Twitter trends for national movements, performance for progress, and a polished exterior for a solid foundation. They are presenting a slate of candidates seemingly designed to win the votes of people who already agree with them, while offering nothing but condescension and failed policies to the vast swath of the country that lives between two oceans.
The historical view is bleak. Parties that win presidencies build broad coalitions. They find candidates who can articulate a compelling vision for the future that resonates beyond their base. What we see here is not a coalition being built, but a circular firing squad being assembled, with each contender representing a different faction of the same narrow ideology. They are not offering an alternative vision for America; they are offering a choice of which vessel will best navigate the country down the same river they’ve been sailing, all while pretending not to notice the waterfall ahead. The biggest irony isn’t that their top contenders are flawed; it’s that they seem to believe their flaws are virtues. And that is the true inevitability of failure.
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