The following article, Trump Turns the UN Into a Comedy Roast, was first published on The Black Sphere.
President Trump bragged recently that he’s pretty good at predicting what will happen if you don’t listen to him. And he’s not wrong.
When Trump says, “Here’s how this ends if you ignore me,” history has a bad habit of confirming his spoiler alerts.
So when he walked into the UN this week, he wasn’t there to play diplomat. He was there to collect rent, break kneecaps, and remind every global bureaucrat in the room that he doesn’t do “soft power.” If Joe Biden is the feeble landlord who leaves cookies in the lobby for squatters, Trump is the Bronx landlord with brass knuckles and late fees stapled to every deadbeat’s forehead.
Forget the polite handshakes and the mushy word salads the UN usually gorges itself on. Trump gave them something different. He didn’t give a UN speech — he ran a roast. He torched world leaders harder than a propane grill at a Texas tailgate. Every delegate left shaking like they’d just been caught sneaking Nord Stream receipts into homeroom.
And the beauty of it? The Left hated it, which means it worked.
The UN Expected Diplomacy. Trump Brought the Pimp-Hand.
World leaders strolled into the chamber expecting soft power, climate pledges, and a round of kumbaya. What they got was bare-knuckle comedy and a verbal beatdown that resembled stand-up at the Copacabana in 1956.
Trump walked in with Al Capone vibes: cigar in one hand, brass knuckles in the other. By the end of it, Macron was sweating, like his cologne had a boiling point. Every time Trump said the word “Paris,” you could practically hear his aftershave evaporating.
London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan? Trump ripped him so hard the poor guy had to call MI6 to locate his spine. Somewhere in the back, the German delegation looked like middle-schoolers caught hiding cheat sheets. And they were — hiding their dirty energy deals with Russia while pretending to be Greta Thunberg’s pen pals.
But here’s the punchline: world leaders hated it because Trump ripped the Band-Aid off their scam. He didn’t just criticize their policies — he exposed the game.
War: The One Thing Trump Actually Stopped
Trump threw shade at the UN for bragging about ending wars — wars they didn’t end. The UN’s track record on peacekeeping resembles Alec Baldwin’s record on gun safety. The contribution can’t be measured, because failure can’t be measured.
When Trump says he stops wars, the media goes into conniptions. PolitiFact rushed to clutch their pearls with “fact-checks.” CNN whined: “Seven un-endable wars Trump did (not) end.” CBS tried the classic gotcha: “Here’s what the record shows.”
Let’s play along with their nonsense. Let’s say Trump didn’t stop six wars, he only stopped three. Is that not an achievement? The last time a world leader not actively in a war ended one was—never. It’s like watching a guy summit Everest, K2, and Kangchenjunga in the same year, and then whining: “Yeah, but he didn’t climb the other four.”
Meanwhile, the UN spends decades drafting resolutions that aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.
Trump vs. Europe’s Energy Religion
Trump hit Europe right where it hurts — their windmill fetish. And he was merciless.
“Congrats on turning your continent into a bird-killing wind farm,” he said, practically flicking the ashes of reality into their soy lattes. Europe brags: “We cut carbon emissions by 37%.” China replies: “Cool story, bro. We just built a coal plant the size of Manhattan.”
That’s the scam: Europe slits its own wrists economically, and China cashes in. Beijing builds the turbines, sells them at a markup, and barely installs any at home. China’s real energy grid runs on coal, gas, and common sense. Europe? It’s running on subsidies, wishful thinking, and a prayer to Saint Greta.
Windmills are Europe’s participation trophy. You don’t get power, you get a giant Chinese lawn ornament. And you pay for it twice: once in subsidies, and again in lost jobs when your steel plants shut down.
Trump framed it perfectly: “You’re supposed to make money with energy, not lose money. You lose money, the governments have to subsidize. And most of them are built in China. They barely use them themselves, but they sure as hell like selling them.”
In effect, Europe is the guy bragging about his new “eco-friendly” Tesla, but he borrows money from China to charge it.
The Double-Tailed Monster: Immigration + Energy
Trump didn’t stop at energy. He went straight for Europe’s jugular: immigration.
“I love Europe. I love the people of Europe. And I hate to see it being devastated by energy and immigration. This double-tailed monster destroys everything in its wake,” he warned.
That wasn’t rhetoric. That was prophecy. Europe has turned its borders into a revolving door and its energy grid into a slot machine. Spoiler alert? Both eat your culture alive.
The elites call it compassion. Trump called it what it is: national suicide dressed up with diversity slogans. It’s polite mugging. “Yes, you’re being robbed blind, but don’t worry — the assailant is inclusive!”
It’s the same playbook everywhere. In London, Mayor Sadiq Khan runs cover for Sharia law while crime skyrockets. In Germany, leaders wag fingers at citizens who dare question open borders. In France, Macron enforces “green goals” while farmers riot. Europe’s leaders aren’t leaders at all. They’re managers of decline.
And Trump called it.
Nostradamus on Adderall
At one point, Trump quipped that if Europe doesn’t listen to him, he’ll predict exactly how it all blows up. And let’s face it: his batting average is higher than Nostradamus on Adderall.
Trump’s not just predicting the future anymore — he’s live-streaming it on Truth Social with the spoiler alerts turned off. He called out Germany for being enslaved to Russian gas years before Putin rolled tanks into Ukraine. He warned about open borders before Paris turned into a knife crime theme park. And he torched renewables long before Europeans were burning wood to keep warm in winter.
Every prediction the elites mocked him for turned out true. Which is why they hate him.
The Global Roast: Wedgies, Evictions, and Bronx Landlords
The entire speech was less a lecture and more a public shaming. Trump gave world leaders an atomic wedgie in front of the cafeteria. He pantsed the global cabal and left their hypocrisy flapping in the wind.
The UN wanted a diplomat. What they got was a Bronx landlord showing up to collect rent — and every deadbeat got slapped with late fees.
That wasn’t a speech. That was an eviction notice.
Why This Matters: A Call to Arms
This wasn’t just Trump dunking on a room full of bureaucrats. This was bigger.
The message wasn’t for the suits in the chamber — it was for the people outside of it. The populist movements in the UK, Netherlands, Germany, and beyond heard it loud and clear: “Your leaders have sold you out. Take your country back.”
This is why the elites squirmed. Trump’s speech wasn’t just aimed at them — it was aimed through them. Their disapproval gave the speech more power. The louder they booed, the more ordinary Europeans nodded along.
And that’s the irony. Trump, the so-called “isolationist,” just gave the most unifying speech for Western civilization in decades. He offered an outstretched hand — not to the bureaucrats, but to the people desperate to save their countries from the double-tailed monster of energy and immigration.
This wasn’t Trump versus the UN. This was Trump versus the global ruling class.
And once again, he left them exposed, shaking, and humiliated.
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